Joe’s Guide on How to Avoid Taylor Swift Fans this February
Prepare for mayhem, Taylor Swift is heading to Australia for her Eras Tour, and with her comes an army of Swifties. Mark my words, punters, it’s going to be more manic than Black Friday or the Boxing Day Sales, but you don’t need to worry, as help is at hand from your trusted mate Joe Fortune. Here’s my guide on where to avoid certain spots, when and where to go instead, and what to do during the upcoming few days in mid-late February.
Swifties
First up, let’s prepare you for who to avoid in one word… Swifties! This is the name given to the fanbase of the global star, American singer-songwriter, Taylor Swift. Most journos reckon she has one of the largest and most devoted fan bases presently on the planet. Swifties are known for their high levels of engagement, buying up plenty of merch, dressing very creatively, and are a very strong community. Let’s just say you certainly can’t miss them.
Imagine England’s Barmy Army with plenty more colour, then multiply the numbers by a few thousand, followed by adding a few thousand more. I’m sure it’s good fun if that’s your go, but fair dinkum well worth giving them a wide berth if it’s not your thing.
Melbourne
Get ready Melbourne! Swift will be performing for 3 nights at the MCG from Friday, February 16th, through to Sunday. While the star isn’t expected on stage until 7pm, fans the gates are open from 4:30pm, so you’re best to steer clear of the G all 3 days with your utes, cars, or bikes!
Here’s a bit more info I’ve pulled together for those who use public transport… The Frankston/Stony Point lines will have buses replace trains between Cheltenham and Mordialloc from February 16th to final service on February 18th. The Belgrave Line will have bus replacements between Ringwood and Bayswater on all days. And finally, Croydon, Parkdale, Narre Warren, and Keon Park stations will be closed and serviced by shuttle buses to stations located on either side all concert days.
If you’ve got to use lines or head near the MCG for work, then my tip is to change your appointments, and if you can, work from home – be creative if you need an excuse! Just think of all the time and aggro you’ll save yourself. Sounds like a great excuse to try out some of my new pokies with a couple of cold, quiet ones.
Sydney
Now for New South Wales, there are four nights that locals and commuters need to be aware of in Sydney, as Taylor Swift performs from February 23rd through to 26th at Accor Stadium out at Homebush. With gates also opening at 4:30pm, public transport will be bloody busy, as tickets for the gig includes free public transport. I strongly suggest you take care not to jump on the express trains, which will be running to and from Olympic Park every ten minutes from Central and the Western Line stations. If you have to be close by on any of these days, be sure to check the crowds on all metro, ferry, and light rail services in the area as they’re also available at no cost for all Swifties too.
Not that you need an excuse to drop into your local RSL, but I reckon any of the above days would be an ideal time to enjoy a parmi, schnitty or a burger with a few mates. I’ll bet you all the beer in a brewery that clubs will be the last place to bump into any Swifties, but just to be sure, might be worth hiding out and playing a few pokies in the VIP room.
Warning
These Swifties are merch-mad, so it isn’t just a case of avoiding the concerts, there are a few other dates and spots to steer clear of. Starting with the first official merch pop-up, which will be on Tuesday, 14th Feb, from 9am onwards, and then on Wednesday and Thursday from 10am to 6pm at the Crown Melbourne! Punters in and around the area might be advised to head to your local, where I doubt you’ll find Taylor and her Swifties hanging out.
Don’t worry if you can’t get to the casino and are missing out on playing your favourite casino games or pokies, as my online casino offers you all the thrills but without all the crowds and chaos.
Meanwhile in Sydney, whilst there isn’t going to be a pop-up shop, fans will be heading to collect their merch on Wednesday, 21 February, and then Thursday from 10am onwards at the corner of Olympic Boulevard and Dawn Fraser Avenue. Given driving around the harbour city isn’t the easiest at the best of times you might as well escape the city. What could be better than grabbing your budgie smugglers or best swimwear, jumping in the Ute, and heading to the beach with your Esky and a couple of Four’n Twenty meat pies from a servo?
Joe’s Top Tip
You could take extreme measures and head away from the east coast altogether and take a trip to WA, QLD or the NT, but I reckon it’s probably best just to pop out to your local butcher for some snags, grab a slab from the bottle shop, and fire up the barbie. Then simply enjoy the end of summer, taking it easy with a few hands of online blackjack, as soon enough life will be back to normal come Tuesday, 27th February.
As always, if you’ve got any questions or need any help opening up an account, reach out to my mates who are on hand to sort you out. I’ll level with you, they’re good as gold and can assist with almost anything, but if you’re looking for tickets for Taylor Swift’s concerts or merch, you’re not gonna have any success.