PLAY NOW! Try These Games for Instant Wins
What’s fast, furious and fiercely rewarding, and found near footy and fights? Why, Instant Win games of course, right here in this review. Pick your poison, hit play and see your wins instantly hit your game balance.
Instant. It has a nice ring to it, dunnit? Gratification does one better by taking satisfaction and combining it with some top-notch creamy potato dish, and when you whack them together, it’s time to pay penance: Forgive me, Father, for I have winned. Then penance pays you.
Instant win games at Joe Fortune include some of the craziest games you’ll ever play. Maybe not ‘90s teenage party games crazy, depending which side of the train tracks you hail from. No one goes home with kissing disease here, and that’s exactly what my lawyers told the health inspectors.
These are also surprisingly easy-to-play games, with themes you’d only expect to find in online pokies. They’re hooked up to the same randomisation software as pokies for total fairness, but the rounds are extra-fast, and your wins are instantly reflected in your balance.
Scratch cards, lotto, virtual sports betting, MMA-based fights, and bizarre races from other planets are all instant win games. One round = instant results, aka, instant gratification.
Check these out and you’ll be happy that you did. Instantly.
Pride Fight
For the pride of your compatriots (any of your choosing), you’re asked to kick the living shizzle out of a rival. Luckily, you’re 120kg of pure, muscular steel. But then again – so is he.
Pride Fight will pit you two young bucks against each other in a fighting ring to make punters some doe. You can play for the Nigerian flag and make like Israel Adesanya using super-rifle power kicks to devastate your opponent from the legs. or you can represent our own inner Super Samoan (we all have one) with an Australian flag delivering a knock-out Superman jab straight to the head.
You bet on yourself to be the victor. Extra points if your name is Victor. If you win the fight, your prize money instantly smashes over your balance like a body slam. Then it’s time for your Pride Parade, Champ.
Plinko
Another word for drinking too much wine? He went loco on plinko… Not quite. A new version of planking? Nope. It goes back even further than that.
Remember “The Price Is Right”? Larry Emdur torturing us somewhere around 5pm every weeknight? You’re either a young sprite or someone protected you from the bad men. If you know the show at all, and perhaps we’ve already attended the same PTSD group therapy session, then you might remember a kerplunkity little segment called Pinko. The show’s saving grace.
Contestants dropped a ball down a pyramid of off-set rows and watched it bounce around until it landed in a little pocket with a dollar prize at the bottom.
Here, we’ll replace that dollar prize with a multiplier value, adjust the rows and the risk just how you like them, and you’ve got yourself the online Plinko game at Joe’s.
It’s almost as thrilling as Hot Drop Jackpots where I dangle a looming jackpot set to trigger before it reaches $300K, next to a couple of others that run by-the-clock.
Football Bet
Who says sports betting isn’t instantly gratifying? Anyone who’s ever played virtual soccer can vouch for the affirmative, for starters.
With Football Bet, it’s even faster. Yep – faster than instant. Laws of physics be damned! You get all the best parts of sports betting but without the agonising wait. Or human injury. Or even any humans, at all. An introvert’s dream? You betcha football it is.
When the screen loads, the pressure’s on like Donkey Kong. Or FIFA ’97. At the start of every round, you have under 15 seconds to select the bets you want for your country or countries. Then, as the rounds commence, and you sit on the edge of your seat until the Final reveals if your country made it through.
E.T. Races
Three extraterrestrials walked into a bar.
One was an angry red blob. Some called him Uncle Frank, and he grew red in the face after arguing about cosmic politics. The second was a ratbag blue bubble, otherwise known as your hyperactive niece Penny, who happens to be a Martian. The final E.T. was a dopey hair-ball creature with droopy eyes. That’s the stoner neighbour kid from TRAPPIST-1. You never really learned his name. The bar, of course, is the finish line of the E.T. Races.
You bet on the creature to win, they hurdle over the track, and you get an instant prize if the creature you backed crosses the finish line first. No joke, and certainly no punchline.
Funny Hunting
Hunting isn’t typically considered a “ha-ha” kind of sport. But when you put it inside a carnival tent with a ten-cylinder revolver shooting down rubber duckies and the occasional rotund, porky pig, the whole process lightens up a little. You sadist.
With Funny Hunting, you can make an instant win of up to 500x your bet, depending on the character you blast off of the moving conveyor belt. Go ahead, take your anger out on the puffed out cardboard duck with a crown. He’s clearly too full of himself.
No one goes to the carnival alone. That’s just sad. If you’ve got a few friends to tag along, I’ll help re-fill your ammunition with my referral bonus. That’s up to $75 for each of you.*
*No pigs were harmed in the making of this money
Minesweeper XY
Here’s a bomb blast from the past. If you reached adulthood more than a few years ago, you’ll be lightning up in recognition of this nifty little desktop game of yesteryear. But this one is just a ‘lil different, and not just owing to its loading time.
Minesweeper XY is a lot easier to navigate, despite the minefields you’re stepping around. You’re tasked with walking through a dangerous field of bombs with a view to disarming them. The farther you get without stepping on one, the higher your payout will be. The more alive you’ll stay, too. Bonus. If you’re satisfied with your efforts and all of your limbs remain intact, you can hit “collect” at the right moment to grab your current winnings and GTFO of the minefield. Phew.
As the top bitcoin cash casino in Australia, you can bag up those winnings, take ‘em to the checkout for approval, and withdraw them good and proper faster than you could start up a chunky 1990s PC.
Super Bartender
Bartenders, like nurses and Uber drivers, are the unsung heroes among us, given the essential service they solemnly and dutifully provide to society. Exhibit A: the impossibly suave bartender serving the good folk of his impossibly sleek cocktail bar, who redefines his profession every time he serves a grin and tonic. This Super Bartender, clearly holding shares in Schwarzkopf gel spray for men, in fact, displays feats of showmanship that make Tom Cruise in Cocktails look like a toddler trying to tie his laces.
When you order a drink, he can’t just turn around and make it. That would be too easy. Ordinary. Pedestrian. Nope, you’ll need to choose one martini shaker out of the six. If it reveals the fruits that’ll go into your cocktail, you gain a multiplier that reaches all the way to 32x. But the very second your choice turns into a red X, you’re back at the beginning when you have to flag the talent down all over again. Let’s add this one to our red-hot list of online casino games to play while having a pint!
Whoever said instant gratification was a bad thing (was it the Buddhists? That weirdo teacher? Grandma?), clearly never experienced instant win games at Joe’s. If they had, they’d tell you there’s no good reason to play the long game. Waiting for particular combinations to visit your reels to see your fun pay off? Ain’t nobody got time for that. Instead, try one of these games on for size for that instant shot of adrenaline. Courtesy of Super Barman.